


Field Trips and (Overly Dramatic) Father Figures

by PS_NoThanks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: BAMF Michelle Jones, BAMF Tony Stark, But Like Verbally, Field Trip, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Good old field trip trope, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Wants To Die Just A little, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-19 01:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20648888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PS_NoThanks/pseuds/PS_NoThanks
Summary: If he had to, Peter could write a list of the things he liked about school, and it'd be a pretty long one, but field trips would definitely not be on there.He had his reasons, you know. Being bitten by a radioactive spider tended to kill the vibe a little, which was why he wasn't exactly overjoyed to hear that his AP science class was going on yet another field trip.He was even less overjoyed when the field trip location was revealed: Stark Tower, where his overly dramatic, totally-not-dad, tended to hang around.Naturally, everything goes wrong, but then a few things go right, too. At this point, the only thing that Peter knows for sure is that Parker Luck seems to be a dominant force in his life.





	1. Why Has God Forsaken Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter discovers just where he will be going, and proceeds to suffer immensely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, my dudes. Idk what happened to the notes but I'm editing this cause it was painful for me to look at.  
So yeah.  
Uh.  
Rated T for swearing.  
Enjoy?

Peter liked school, a lot actually. He had Ned, and MJ too now, possibly. The girl had started inching closer to where he and Ned sat during lunch, so Peter took that as a good sign. While the course work was challenging, it wasn't impossible, completing it didn’t feel like watching paint dry, which was more than he could say about his elementary school. And sure, there were a few bullies *cough*  _ Flash  _ *cough*, and the occasional unnecessarily cruel teacher or not-so-great test result, but he liked it. Peter actually, surprisingly,  _ liked _ school.

What Peter most definitely  _ didn’t  _ like, was field trips. His most recent ones had been absolute disasters, what with having to break into the Washington Monument to save his AcaDeca team, as well as accidentally-on-purpose encountering the Vulture and getting locked in a storage facility overnight. The time before that at Oscorp had also sucked, but that was a given. Being bitten by a radioactive spider, getting really sick for an agonising weekend, and then obtaining superpowers tended to be a bit of a mood killer, but even before that field trips hadn’t been his jam. 

Once, he’d gone to the Empire State Building and a crazy-looking lady pushing a shopping cart filled to the brim with cabbages had asked if he wanted to stroke the ferret curled around her neck. Looking back, he realised that a strange lady on the streets with an odd attachment to cabbages and ferrets was just part of the famed New York culture, and was nothing to worry about, but at age seven, he hadn’t thought that was the case. There was also that time he’d gone to a water sanitation plant. Nothing bad had happened, it had just been incredibly boring.  _ No one _ had enjoyed that trip.

When Mr Harrington greeted Peter’s AP science class bright and early on Monday morning, the teen could tell something fishy was going on. The usually mellow teacher was grinning like a madman and bouncing on the balls of his feet (teachers should never be energetic, and if they were, Peter didn’t trust them). It didn't take long for Mr Harrington to spill the beans, and, remarkably, when he revealed that they were going on yet another field trip, Peter didn’t fall to the floor and scream to whoever was up there about why they’d decided to forsake him. Instead, he allowed himself a tiny bit of hope, just a little bit. Maybe the universe was going to give him a break after the whole Toomes debacle? 

But of course, the universe didn’t feel inclined to give him a break, and Peter only got to hold onto his hope for a short while, as not seconds later, Mr Harrington's voice broke through the boy’s wishful thinking. 

“Now, I know you’re all really excited for Friday, but we’ve gotta be on our best behaviour, I mean it. It's not every day Stark Industries grants a school group access their Tower. In fact, I’m not quite sure how the school managed to wrangle this, but you guys know the saying, ‘never look a gift horse in the mouth’,” the man said excitedly. 

Peter groaned as he buried his head into his arms. He had a pretty good idea of how Midtown had managed to get a tour, and boy, if he was right, a certain someone was going to be getting an earful when Peter showed up for his internship after school finished for the day. 

Despite his growing dread, he still felt a little thrill in his chest when he thought about the internship. When Peter had turned down the opportunity to become an Avenger (sometimes he still had trouble believing that he’d actually done that, but he didn't regret his decision, it had been the right one), he’d thought he was also saying goodbye to Mr Stark, and the awesome spidey suit upgrades, and spontaneous missions to other countries. 

To his surprise, Mr Stark (or  _ Tony _ , as the man had been trying to get Peter to call him), had offered Peter an internship. A  _ real _ internship, not just a cover for his Spider-Man activities. He got to go to the labs in Stark Tower three days a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and work on anything and everything. His suit, his web shooters, Karen, random projects, and once, the Iron Man suit. Sure, it was just screwing in a few plates of metal here and there under Mr Stark’s  _ very _ careful supervision, and passing his mentor the tools he needed when he asked for them, but  _ still _ . He’d touched an _ Iron Man suit _ .

Rhodey had told him later, while they were munching on some pizza in the living room, that he’d only seen Tony let five people total touch the suit. Peter, Pepper, Happy, Rhodey and Mr Stark himself (obviously). That in itself had set off a spark of pride and warmth in his chest.

The only thing he was actually missing out on was the fun little excursions to other countries so that they could round up rogue Avengers. He’d been told, with no amount of uncertainty, that there wouldn’t be any more of  _ those _ , but Peter wasn’t really complaining about that. It meant that his English teacher wouldn’t get mad at him for not doing his homework anymore.

So, while he wouldn’t get to go to random airports in Germany anymore, he preferred what he got in exchange. The opportunity to make some interesting new friends (Ms Potts and Mr Colonel-Rhodes-War-Machine-Iron-Patriot-Sir, absolutely  _ adored _ him, much to Mr Stark’s chagrin. Apparently he “didn’t want to share his best intern.” He’d even recently started calling them Pepper and Rhodey, respectively, also much to Mr Stark’s chagrin), and also, kinda, possibly, maybe, sort of… find a father figure? Not that he’d ever tell anyone,  _ especially _ Mr Stark. Peter didn’t want to scare him off after all, not right now, when they were getting so close.

Even May was also slowly warming up to Tony  _ and _ the whole Spider-Man thing. It had been a bit of a fiasco in the beginning, with a lot of crying (mostly from May, and a little from Peter, but no one needed to know that), and verbal beatdowns (also mostly from May, directed at Mr Stark). 

It had gotten infinitely better though, when she met Pepper. The two had taken a liking to each other immediately, and that had marked May’s ultimate one-eighty spin in her attitude towards Mr Stark. Privately, Peter thought that May found the knowledge that a responsible adult was around almost all the time while Peter was at the Tower soothing, but Mr Stark insisted that it was really his “charisma and ravishing looks that saved the day.”

Peter was snapped out of his musings by an obnoxiously loud guffaw behind him, followed by, “I really can’t wait for this, Penis. Everyone’s finally gonna see that I’m right about you and your  _ internship  _ as soon as we step into that building,” whispered in a gleeful tone. 

Without turning around, Peter knew it was Flash, but he didn’t dignify the bully with an answer. He knew that when he stepped into SI, FRIDAY would greet him warmly and probably offer to notify Mr Stark of his presence, if the genius hadn’t already programmed her to do that immediately upon the teen’s arrival, but that right there was the  _ problem _ . 

Peter was trying to fly under the radar, lest someone noticed his tendency to disappear right before Spider-Man showed up, and put two and two together. Being greeted by the AI created by Tony Stark himself, the AI that was possibly the greatest advancement in artificial intelligence technology this century, was most certainly not going to help him with that. 

He allowed himself a small smile when his enhanced senses picked up on a muffled thump followed by an indignant “Shit! What was that for, Jones?”

“Don’t be a dick, Flash,” was MJ’s simple response. 

Mr Harrington, used to their little quarrels and excitable nature, merely hushed the class and handed out permission slips, before starting the lesson.

~~~

The rest of his classes went well enough. Flash left him alone, apparently content with the fact that Peter and his lies would be ‘exposed’ by the end of the week. Honestly though, the boy thought that Flash was just trying to avoid another punch from MJ, who stayed unusually close to Peter right up until the bell rang to signal the end of the day. 

When the shrill tones finally made their way through the staticy speakers, he was up and out the door before anyone could react, the indignant cries of his geography teacher yelling, “the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do!” fading behind him as he jogged through the hallways, side-stepping students left and right as they filtered out of their classrooms. 

He burst through the front doors, victorious smile fading into a scowl when he saw Happy leaning against his precious black car with a smirk plastered on his face. Ever since the man had made a (frankly, very rude) comment about how Peter was almost always late no matter where he was going or how early he left, the boy had made it his personal mission to arrive at the spot where Happy picked him up before the driver did. It had been three months since Peter had pledged this to himself, and he was yet to be successful. However, the teen was nothing if not stubborn. Unfortunately for him, Harold (Happy) Hogan, was even more so. 

“Hey kid, have a good day at school?” the driver asked innocently, opening the door for Peter, still smirking.

“It was fine, Harold,” the boy replied stiffly, sniffing as he slid into the backseat. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you leave early just to beat me,” he suggested just before the door closed, knowing how much the comment would irk Happy. Just as he expected, the smirk on the older man’s face disappeared at the insinuation that he had cheated. The insinuation wasn’t  _ wrong _ , per se, but Happy didn’t want the kid to know that.

“Pete, you’re even worse at losing than Tony, and that’s saying something,” Happy teased, turning to walk around to the driver’s side before he could see the insulted look on Peter’s face, which was a shame, because it was Oscar-worthy, in Peter’s opinion anyway.

As the man started weaving through the busy New York traffic, Peter allowed himself a small smile. Happy hadn’t put the divider between the front and back seat up in months, and while Peter wasn't allowed to sit in the front seat yet (Happy said he “needed time to get his hyperactive teen superhero tolerance levels higher”), he appreciated the invitation to talk about his day, which he did without hesitation. 

After he had rambled about the eggs that May had tried to scramble for breakfast (not missing the way Happy’s eyes had softened at the mention of his Aunt, but instead filing that little tidbit away to analyse later), the muesli bar that he had ended up eating instead, and the guy in an inflatable dinosaur costume that had given him a high-five before promptly passing out on the subway, Peter tentatively broached the topic of the field trip. 

Once he’d stuttered and mumbled his way through an explanation, he did not get the pitying show of support he’d hoped for. Instead, Happy had burst out laughing, and had needed to pull over onto the side of the road while he got himself together. Once he’d wiped his eyes and returned his breathing to a manageable level, he said, “so you’re telling me that you’re like the only kid in existence that doesn’t like field trips-” 

“Hey! I have perfectly good reasons for my opinion,” Peter huffed, crossing his arms.

“And you happen to be going on a field trip to Stark Industries, where you spend a lot of time as both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, a fact you want to keep very quiet,” Happy continued, raising his voice over Peter’s. “You are aware that you intern for possibly  _ the most _ dramatic and unsubtle man in the universe, right?”

“Yes, Harold,” Peter responded with an irritated eye roll. “That’s the entire  _ problem _ , glad to see your summary skills are top-notch.”

“Oh kid, I wouldn’t want to be in your situation right now, that’s for sure,” Happy said with one last chuckle, before pulling back onto the road. Peter spent the rest of the car ride stewing, finding out Mr Stark’s middle name, and planning the verbal beatdown he’d give the man when he arrived.

~~~

They pulled into the car park underneath the tower, Peter thanking Happy as he got out, and walked towards the sleek, private elevator door that would take him up to Mr Stark’s personal lab on the second highest floor. Above that was Mr Stark and Ms Potts’ penthouse. Peter had his own room up there, because sometimes May let him stay over on Friday evenings when he and Tony got way too wrapped up in their lab projects, so he didn't have to force Happy or Mr Stark to drive him back to Queens late at night. 

He also stayed at the tower if May had to go on a work trip for longer than two days, because she didn’t like him staying alone in the apartment for extended periods of time, even if he  _ was _ a superhero. Her exact words were, “I don’t care if you can lift busses, Peter! You nearly ended up in Tony’s Med Bay last week because you didn’t sleep for three days and then thought it would be a good idea to try and ‘perk yourself up a bit’ by chugging three Red Bull’s, a cup of coffee and a bottle of gatorade in the span of four minutes. Lord knows what you’d get up too if I left you alone for a week!” 

While Peter still thought that he’d be able to get along just fine by himself for a week, he had to concede that bringing up that particular incident made for a good point, and so he’d been shipped off to Stark Tower for a week, earning himself a light scolding from May. “Don’t be so dramatic Pete, Tony’s really excited to have you.” 

That had warmed him up to the idea quite a bit. 

When Peter arrived, he expected a guest bedroom, at the very most, and so he was surprised to be ambushed by a grinning Tony and Pepper as soon as the elevator doors opened. 

They’d gleefully shoved him down the hall, pushing open the door next to their bedroom, which, until then, had been just another basic guest room. Peter had glanced at them, confused, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he’d looked inside to find… his literal personal paradise. 

Star Wars posters, some of them  _ signed _ , covered the walls and there was a treasure trove of lego sets stacked in one corner. Man, him and Ned would have so much fun building those later. A queen bed with an Iron Man bed spread (Peter  _ definitely _ didn’t immediately fall in love with it) and a Spider-Man plushie resting against the pile of pillows took up most of the far side of the room, as well as a shelf filled with science books, their titles ranging from ‘Nanites: Are They The Future?’ to ‘The Intricacies of Molecular Biology’. There was also a large desk equipped with basic stationery items and tinkering tools, and a set of drawers that Peter would later discover housed basic necessities and some really cool clothes (he still didn’t know how Tony had managed to find that many science pun t-shirts or Iron Man and Spider-Man themed PJ’s). 

A quiet, “do you like it?” from Pepper had caused him to turn around, grinning, and embrace the couple in a hug.

“Peter, you have been standing there for quite some time. Boss would like to know if everything is ok,” FRIDAY said in her usual, calm voice. Peter startled out of his memories and grinned, remembering the verbal assault he’d planned for Mr Stark. He nodded before stepping out of the elevator and pressing his palm to the scanner situated by the door of the lab. A small beep sounded, the light turned green, and Peter walked into the technical paradise that was Tony Stark’s lab.

“Petey-Pie! There you are, I was getting worried-” started Mr Stark from underneath… well Peter wasn't quite sure  _ what _ it was. Ignoring both his curiosity and the annoying nickname that Mr Stark had taken a liking to, Peter opened his mouth.

“Anthony. Edward. Stark,” he started in a threatening tone, and the older man paused in his tinkering.

“Kid, I know I’ve been trying to get you to call me Tony, but I feel like this is a bit of a step backwards-”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Well, I’ve never been tested but-”

“No! The teenager is talking. Did I offend you in some way? What could I have possibly done to make you offer my science class a tour of SI? You do know that the whole point of a secret identity is that it's a  _ secret _ , right? I don’t really want my whole class to know that I’m your personal intern, either. Do you know how hard it's gonna be to keep everything on the down low when everyone in my science class is traipsing around my place of work? Mr Stark, I know they act like it sometimes, but they aren't idiots. They’ll know there's something weird going on if  _ the _ Tony Stark shows up and starts a conversation with me. You aren't even meant to have high school interns at SI, let alone your own personal intern! With all due respect, sir, what the  _ fu _ -”

“Yep, let me stop you right there, junior. Pep will get real mad at me if I let you taint that innocent little mind of yours with naughty words.”

“Mr Stark, I go to high school. I’ve definitely heard worse than fu-”

“Again, did you not hear me? Pep will kill me, only to bring me back to life so she can whoop my ass, and then kill me again. Do you want a dead Tony?”

“Well, no, but that's beside the point. Why did you offer to let my science class have a tour of the Tower?” 

“That’s the thing, kid, I didn't,” Tony said, and Peter arched an eyebrow.

A beep and the clicking of high heels against the concrete floor of the lab alerted the pair to the presence of another person.

“I’m afraid that might be my fault, Peter. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it’d affect you like that. Happy told me that you mentioned some of your classmates were giving you a hard time because they didn’t believe you had an internship here,” Pepper said gently, her blue eyes full of remorse. Peter sighed, he was still worried about the field trip, and now slightly pissed at Happy for being a snitch, but he was glad Mr Stark wasn’t actively trying to destroy his life.

“It’s alright Pepper, thanks for trying. I’m just worried that this could screw everything up,” he said with a small smile.

“Wait, some dickhead kids are giving you a hard time, Pete? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn’t  _ Happy _ tell me? I sign that man’s paychecks!”

“No,  _ I _ sign his paychecks,” Pepper cut in.

“It’s nothing, Mr Stark, really. It’s just some jealous morons, nothing I can’t handle,” Peter assured him but Mr Stark still looked sceptical. 

“Alright kid, but if it gets serious, I won’t hesitate to fly down there and give them a stern talking-to,” The older man warned. Peter sighed again, because that's exactly what he was afraid of. “Now what’s this I hear about a field trip?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked it :D  
Feel free to comment or leave kudos because I seriously love getting them.


	2. This Was, Arguably, The Worst Thing That Had Ever Happened To Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the field trip begins, and Peter auditions to be a tomato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we finally get some field trip action here, but it's not much. The really good stuff happens next chapter... probably. I haven't actually written it.  
Sorry in advance for any mistakes you may see.  


By the time Friday rolled around, Peter was certain he was going to die. Mr Stark had exhibited much the same reaction as Happy had when he learned of the field trip. Once he’d gotten over his laughing fit, the man had proceeded to call Rhodey, who promised he’d be at the Tower on the day, and May, who’d sworn to sign the permission slip, no matter how hard Peter tried to convince her to do otherwise. He’d even pulled out his infamous puppy eyes for the cause, but the attempt had been fruitless. 

Honestly, he’d never seen May so determined to get him to do something, not even when she’d signed him up for tennis lessons when he was ten, despite the fact that he had exactly zero hand-eye coordination. After three months of torture, it had finally ended when he accidentally gave himself a concussion with his own racket and May decided that maybe it hadn’t been the best idea.

Peter sulked for the rest of the week, even during his lab session with Mr Stark on Wednesday (although he’d had a hard time keeping up the whole ‘brooding teenager’ vibe. The genius had pulled out the big guns and done a crazy experiment with the teen that involved sodium, water and a very explosive reaction). On Friday morning he’d tried to fake being sick, but May wasn’t having it, quite literally dragging him out of bed and down the hall. 

His Aunt must have had some semblance of pity for him though, because she’d made (read: attempted to make) him chocolate chip pancakes. Sure, she’d somehow added food dye into the mixture and they’d turned out bright purple, but he wasn't complaining. Well he was, constantly actually, but about his oncoming doom, not the pancakes. He only stopped his dramatics when May started videoing him so she could send the footage to Pepper. On the bright side, the CEO had offered to let Peter stay over at the Tower that night as compensation for his sure-to-be terrible day, and the teen had readily accepted. 

May had scrawled a short note saying that he was allowed to do so, and then pushed him out the door, chastising him for stalling when he repacked his bag three times and then stopped in the hallway to retie his shoelaces.

That was how Peter found himself sitting next to Ned at nine AM, on one of the school’s busses, with MJ reading a book about politics in journalism in front of him and Flash snickering loudly a few rows behind. The boy had no clue what Mr Stark and Rhodey had planned, only that they’d planned  _ something _ . He could only hope Pepper had managed to somewhat control them and their childish antics. 

Ned jabbered in his ear for the entire bus ride, but Peter couldn’t concentrate on him, not when his stomach was twisting nervously. 

He only managed to catch little tidbits like, “so that’s why they think Jar Jar Binks is actually part salmon,” and, “but yeah, turns out my cousin really did have anatidaephobia.” 

Mostly, he just tried to prevent his brain from fretting about what would happen that day, with limited amounts of success. It got so bad that he actually imagined Mr Stark showing up so he could lead their tour group personally, which would be so far past his worst nightmare that Peter would probably die right there on the spot.

They pulled into the small, above-ground car park that was reserved for visitors, and the entire class gaped at the massive glass, metal and concrete monstrosity rising up into the sky before them. The majority of Peter’s peers had never seen Stark Tower up close before, and a lot of them were in awe from the sheer size of it. The teen couldn’t help but smirk to himself, he couldn’t wait to see their faces once they got inside the lobby. 

Mr Harrington ushered them all off the bus, before alighting from the vehicle himself and thanking the driver. “Alrighty, guys, remember what I said.  _ Best behaviour _ . Be respectful towards whoever leads our tour, no wandering off and for heaven's sake, don’t touch  _ anything _ without permission,” The teacher said, looking at the twenty four teenagers he was charged with looking after for a day and (not for the first time) considering retirement. 

Suddenly, a voice came from behind the group. “Well, that's the safety briefing covered!” a stocky young man dressed in a light blue stark industries shirt and tan cargo pants said as he walked towards them with a cardboard box tucked under his arm. 

Peter thought the young man’s blond hair and kind, hazel eyes were familiar, and he recognised him as an intern from one of the biology labs, named Noah. He was a budding-genius who attended Columbia University and was incredibly funny, as well as a pretty easygoing dude. 

Peter had worked with him a few times when researching if his web fluid possessed any useful medical applications, though Noah didn’t know the younger boy was Spider-Man. He’d been told that Peter was just a kid that’d been tasked with helping the hero out. 

Noah shook hands with Mr Harrington, introducing himself, before turning to the class. His eyes met Peter’s for just a second, and the older boy winked, before greeting the class. “Hey, guys, my name’s Noah. I’m an intern in the thirtieth floor biology lab and I’ll be leading your tour today. Before we go inside so that I can explain the day a little more to you, can I get you to line up in alphabetical order?” he requested politely. 

The class attempted to do so, but it took them more than a couple of tries. It was kind of sad, considering that they were a group of teens with supposedly above average intelligence. Nevertheless, they got it right eventually and Noah started handing out white badges from his box, explaining their purpose as he went. “Now these badges are level one, or visitor badges, and can only be used on the day they’re issued. After that, they’re really nothing more than glammed up pieces of paper. We use them for press, company representatives and tour groups, mainly. They can only access a very limited number of places without a higher level badge accompanying them, namely, reception, bathrooms and the cafeteria. To go anywhere else, you’ll need me to swipe you in. Now, make sure you keep those displayed at all times, or our head of security will most likely throw you out. He’s very strict about that,” Noah explained, a hint of humour in his voice that only increased when he saw the nervous expressions on the teen’s faces. 

The group inspected their badges curiously, enraptured by the holographic Stark Industries Logo that projected up into the air if they held their badges horizontally. As Noah got to Peter he stopped, leaning in close. “I expect you have your badge on you, Peter? Boss Man said there wasn’t a need to print one out for you,” he questioned. Peter groaned, because of  _ course _ this was the first thing that Mr Stark had planned. Everyone would notice his badge, it was a different colour after all. 

“Yeah, Noah, I’ve got it, thanks,” he said begrudgingly, as he unzipped his bag.

“Excuse me, Mister? Is Peni- Peter bothering you? He does that a lot,” Flash asked with, having noticed the delay. Peter could practically  _ feel _ the ass-kissing seeping from the larger boy’s pores.

“No, he’s all good, aren’t you, Pete?” Noah replied, frowning at the question, not missing Flash’s almost-slip-up.

“Yep,” the teen replied, glaring at the bully. God, it was only ten in the morning and he already wanted to go home and sleep forever. 

Noah finished handing out the badges before returning to the front of the class. Chelsea, a smart but generally quiet girl, stuck her hand up, waiting for Noah to acknowledge her before continuing.

“You said earlier that these badges are level one. Does that mean there are more levels?” she asked. Noah grinned and nodded enthusiastically as she talked.

“Yeah, there are five in total, including the visitor ones, but each one has its own colour for easy differentiation. So, there’s level two, for low level employees like janitors, assistants and regular workers. Those badges are dark blue and you’ll see quite a few of them around. After that, you have level three, for interns such as myself,” Noah paused to gesture at the badge hanging around his neck on a lanyard. “As you can see, those are green. There won’t be too many people with these ones hanging around today, as a large portion of us have classes to attend. Currently, SI only has about seventy-five interns employed, out of the odd eight thousand people in total that work here.” Noah paused, letting that information sink in. A lot of Peter’s classmates looked at the older boy with newfound respect.

Flash came up behind Peter and snorted. “Pffft, that’s a pretty shitty fake badge, even for you, Parker. It’s not even the right colour!” the bully said loudly, referring to the red badge that Peter was trying  _ very _ hard to conceal in his hand, but his efforts weren’t enough. They were  _ never _ enough. Everyone turned to look at the pair, and the smaller boy blushed at the intense gaze of his classmates. Flash snorted again and turned away to mutter something to his friends. 

Peter rolled his eyes. He was starting to get really sick of the bully and his incessant taunting, and he even found himself starting to hope that the larger boy would be forced to eat his words sometime during the field trip. Deep down, he knew that wouldn’t end well, because he  _ really _ didn’t want anyone to find out about Spider-Man, or his close relationship with Mr Stark, but he’d like Flash to leave him alone, just once. 

Peter hoped that whatever the billionaire had planned wouldn’t be too attention-seeking, but he knew he was kidding himself. This was Tony Stark he was talking about, infamous for his dramatics and ability to steal the show no matter what he was doing or who he was with. Luckily, Noah’s voice pulled Peter out of his internal spiral, and he re-focussed on the older boy.

“And after that there’s level four, for high level employees like department heads and board members. Their badges are yellow. Finally there are the red badges, for residents of the tower, or family and friends of the aforementioned residents. Now I know of about five people with those badges, not including the avengers, and I've only seen two in person. They’re the only badges that can access the top two floors,” Noah finished, his eyes flicking towards Peter for just a second.

“What’s on the top two floors?” asked Michael. Peter didn’t know him well enough to form an opinion on him, but he seemed relatively nice, if not a little nosy.

“Mr Stark’s penthouse, which he shares with Ms Potts and the occasional guest, as well as his personal lab, but that’s enough about that. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?” the intern said, not leaving any room for argument as he turned on his heel and marched off towards the glass sliding doors that served as an entrance to the skyscraper. 

Peter started to follow Noah and the rest of his class inside the building, and caught a glimpse of Flash’s face as he did so. The bully was staring at Peter with a rather funny expression on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was open in a gormless ‘O’ shape. Peter smirked slightly before jogging to catch up with Ned and MJ, who were debating about whether or not Boo from Monsters Inc. could really be the witch from Brave. 

“The website made really compelling points, here I’ll show you,” defended Ned, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. 

“Don’t be a moron Ned. Brave is set  _ centuries _ before Monsters Inc.,” said MJ in a condescending tone, while simultaneously rolling her eyes.

“I’m gonna have to side with MJ on this time Ned, but I still reckon you were right about that one with Aladdin,” Peter said as he came up behind the pair. Ned huffed and shoved his phone back in his pocket, moaning about the pain of betrayal from his closest friend. A group of girls walked past, giggling as they murmured, “nerds,” under their breath to each other, but a glare from MJ sent them scuttling away.

“I  _ love _ having a scary friend,” Ned whispered to Peter, who grinned. However, the grin slid off his face all too quickly when he received a steely side-eye from MJ.

Noah led them through the doors and into the spacious lobby, where Peter was immediately proven right about two things. Firstly, that his classmates would find the lobby absolutely astonishing, as he had on his first day. Ms Potts was a wizard with interior design, among  _ many _ other things, and had styled the area herself. The overall theme was supposed to be sleek and modern, with just a hint of intimidation, according to Pepper. 

There were plants and paintings placed artfully around the space, with some gentle music playing in the background, accented by the soft clicks of polished shoes on the marble floor and consistent murmurs of the three receptionists speaking into their headsets. 

Peter noticed that Hannah, a woman in her late-twenties with a pair of mischievous, but adorable, toddlers that she’d brought into work with her on multiple occasions, was manning one of the desks. He sent a wave her way and she looked briefly confused at seeing him in the Tower when he was supposed to be in school, before seeing the group of kids surrounding him and deciding not to question it (she’d certainly found him doing weirder things before. Peter was definitely  _ not _ referring to that time he drew a face on a squash he’d found in Mr Stark’s fridge, and then wandered around SI for a day with Ned while they pretended it was his baby. Definitely not). She waved back at him and smiled before looking towards her computer screen as her hand flew up to answer a call. 

The second thing that Peter had been right about (though he was not actually pleased about it), was that FRIDAY would greet him as soon as he stepped into the building. What he didn't think about, was the lengths that one Anthony Edward Stark would go to in order to embarrass Peter. Instead of the AI’s usual, “hello, Peter, would you like me to alert Boss of your arrival?” she spurted out, “hola Petey-Pie! Ms Potts wants to know what you want for dinner, Boss wants you to know that you better say cheeseburgers, or you’re dead to him, and Colonel Rhodes says hi,” at twice her usual volume. 

The teen flushed red as his peers jumped at the sudden disembodied voice, and then turned their awed looks from their surroundings, towards him.

“Yeah, uh, hi FRI, cheeseburgers sound good. Tell Rhodey that I say hi back, and tell Mr Stark that I’m shocked he went as far as changing your code for this. Also that  _ he’s _ dead to _ me _ ,” Peter muttered in response, knowing that the AI’s high tech mics would pick it up. His class immediately burst into frantic whispering, and unfortunately, Peter could hear all of it, thanks to his enhanced hearing.

“Did that voice just say that  _ Pepper Potts _ asked Peter what he wanted for dinner?” 

“Forget Pepper Potts - Parker’s eating cheeseburgers with Iron Man and the Iron Patriot!” 

While that was happening, Peter practised his best impression of a tomato. Thankfully, Noah came to the rescue, moving some of the attention off of Peter as he led the class towards the elevator, though the boy still got incredulous glances every couple of seconds. 

As Noah herded them into the spacious elevator in the corner of the lobby, and it started moving without being told where to go, he told them about FRIDAY. “So as I’m sure you all just heard, that disembodied voice was FRIDAY, Tony Stark’s AI. He made her himself, and she’s the most advanced artificial intelligence system ever created. She runs everything in this building from security to the lights and air conditioning. You name it, and FRIDAY has some part in controlling it,” he explained. “Say hi, FRIDAY.”

“Hello, Midtown Highschool students. Welcome to Stark Industries,” the AI greeted in her regular, calm tone.

“Uh, hey, FRIDAY,” a few people replied timidly. Flash sidled up next to Peter and elbowed him in the ribs to get his attention. It didn't hurt, but it was rude, and both Spider-Man and Peter Parker disliked rude people. 

“What do you want, Flash?”

“I want to know how you managed to get your hands on a level five badge and trick FRIDAY into saying that stuff to you in the lobby. There’s no way you’re  _ actually _ gonna have dinner with Tony Stark.”

“Jesus Christ you’re thick. First off, the badge has my name and ID photo on it, dingus, it’s not like there’s another fifteen-year-old Peter Parker roaming around here. Second, are you suggesting that I’d be able to hack into the most intelligent AI on the planet, cause it kinda seems like you are, in which case, thanks, man, I’m flattered, really. Third, yes, I really am having dinner with Mr Stark, because I’m his personal intern. It’s why I have a red badge too, not that it’s  _ any _ of your business,” snapped Peter. When he’d finished his mini-rant, he shoved away from Flash (whose face had assumed that funny expression from before) and towards Ned and MJ, who were both watching his interaction with the bully warily, waiting to see if they needed to intervene. He offered them a tight-lipped smile as Ned patted his shoulder comfortingly. He was not in a good mood anymore. Sure, his bully had been proven wrong time and time again, but was it worth all of the embarrassment and possibly-secret-identity-revealing attention?

The elevator reached its destination, and the doors slid open. Noah led the group down the hallway, telling them to be quiet until they reached the room where he’d give them a run down of what was happening that day, as there were several conferences in progress on either side of the corridor. 

They filed into one room about halfway down, and a fair few of Peter’s classmates made a beeline for the glass wall that looked out over the city (it was missile proof, a fact he wasted no time in sharing with Ned and MJ). Their expressions were one of awe yet again, but Peter had a feeling their faces would be doing that a lot today. They were only on the fifteenth floor, and so were still surrounded by skyscrapers, but looking down upon the bustling New York street below them was pretty darn cool.

As Noah fiddled with the screen on the wall, each person took a seat in one of the leather wheely chairs that were situated around a long rectangular table, chatting quietly. “Alright, guys, listen up! This video’s gonna tell you all you need to know for today. Safety guidelines, our schedule, specific rules that only apply in certain places, yada yada yada, you guys get it,” Noah said, after looking up from where he was observing a Stark Pad embedded in the conference table which controlled the screen.

The lights dimmed and the SI logo shone on the screen, before an employee was welcoming them to the Tower, her voice pleasant and cordial. Peter had already seen the video multiple times, and had even had a hand in making it, so he leaned back in his chair and sighed tiredly. He’d drastically underestimated how determined Mr Stark was to embarrass him, and Peter hated to admit that the genius was doing really well. The tour had barely started, but Peter was already becoming uncomfortably familiar with the feeling of blood rushing to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment or kudos. New chapter soon.


	3. A Not-So-Small Explosion, Among Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff explodes. We get a science lesson... SODIUM POLYACRYLATE!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, which I did instead of my religion assessment. I must say, I have no regrets.  
Sorry for any scientific innacuracies.  
My usual disclaimer applies.

The video lasted about ten minutes, and talked about boring stuff like rules and safety protocols, yet everyone listened with rapt attention under the watchful eye of Noah. The video also explained that while the students could have their phones on them, they couldn’t video, photograph or record what they were shown.

Anybody who was seen with their phones out once they left the conference room, would see their device confiscated, and the owner of said device would possibly be removed from the building or even face legal action. Needless to say, a lot of kids looked scared and some even moved their phones from their pockets to their bags so they wouldn’t even need to resist the temptation. 

Peter listened idly while it played, until he remembered something. He shot upright, eyes focused intently on the screen. Ned, MJ and a few of his other classmates studied him curiously before turning back to the tv. Peter held his breath as the video played on. He’d just remembered that he was in the background of one of the shots, talking to Mr Stark, while the employee rabbitted on about the emergency exits in the building. 

The section came up and Peter waited nervously for one of his classmates to notice. Realistically, he knew that he and Mr Stark just looked like a blob and a slightly taller blob on the screen, because the employee was in focus and the background was blurred, but he was still petrified. 

As the moment came and then passed, Peter let out a breath. No one had seen him. MJ glanced at him curiously but he waved her off, smiling at her to strengthen the illusion that his heart  _ wasn’t _ racing a million miles a minute in his chest.

Once the video was done Noah pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it in his hands. “Ok guys, this is the itinerary for today. We’ll go straight to the chemistry labs from here and there’ll be an activity for us, led by the department head. After that we’ll head to the cafeteria, where you’ll get a meal of your choice, paid for by Stark Industries,” Noah paused, letting the group murmur happily for a second at the thought of free food, before shushing them and continuing. “After that we’ll head to the biology labs, where I spend most of my time. You’ll get to know more about the benefits of being an intern here while we’re there. After that you’ll split up into two groups; those who take marketing as an elective, and those who take mechanics and engineering. A friend of mine will take the marketing kids to meet with the head of the sales department, and I feel like I should mention to you that it’s rumoured Pepper Potts will make an appearance if she has the time,” The excited tittering of those in the marketing elective, and the jealous looks from those doing mechanics and engineering, cut Noah off, but he soon regained everyone's attention when he pointedly cleared his throat. “Thank you, quiet please. Don’t get your hopes up too high though, she’s a very busy woman. Everyone else will come with me. We’ll be heading to the R&D department. That’s where they look over all the research that the labs have formulated, and then develop them into a product, which is then pitched to the sales department. They also design and create all of the Stark devices on the market, and that’s mainly what we’ll be seeing today. Now, I don’t want to get you too excited, but we may be getting a visit from a couple of special guests while we’re there. They’re very busy, but they said they wanted to stop by and see the bright, young minds that will lead the next generation of science. Once we’ve done that, the field trip will be over,” Noah finished, winking at Peter, who currently looked like a strong breeze could knock him over. The boy had a fairly good idea of just who, exactly, these ‘special guests’ were, and he was  _ not _ excited. 

While everyone else in the class chattered excitedly about who they thought the two mysterious guests would be, Peter headed straight for Noah.

“Noah, it's Mr Stark and Colonel Rhodes, isn’t it? They’re the ones that’ll show up at R&D, right?” he asked frantically. 

“Yeah Pete, but don’t worry about it, they’re really busy. Chances are they won’t even show up.”

“No, you don’t understand. They’ll  _ definitely _ show up, probably with a slideshow of my baby photos or something. Their  _ sole _ purpose today is to embarass me.” 

“Aw come on, it probably won’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be. They told me that all they’d do is come in, have a talk with the kids and leave,” Noah placated. Peter laughed, only slightly hysterically.

“It won’t be _that_ _bad_? You have _met_ Mr Stark, haven’t you? He’s the most dramatic guy around, and it’s gonna be even worse with Rhodey there. You wouldn’t believe it, but that man is just as much of a menace as Mr Stark. I’ve gotta make a call,” Peter fretted, running a hand through his hair.  


“Alright Pete, take your time,” Noah relented. Peter nodded weakly at him before stepping out of the conference room and into the hallway to get some privacy.

He pulled his phone out, scrolling through his contacts until he found the one titled  _ Tony Stank _ (courtesy of Rhodey). He pressed the call button and tapped his foot impatiently as he held the phone to his ear. Mr Stark picked up on the fourth ring, and the first thing the boy’s ears picked up was AC/DC blaring in the background. So, the man was in his lab, enjoying himself, while Peter suffered? That was  _ not _ cool. The music got quieter, so the boy assumed Mr Stark had stepped out of the lab to talk to him.

“Peter! What’s popping?” the billionaire greeted cheerfully.

“Oh no, don’t you dare ‘ _ what’s popping _ ’ me. What the frick frack, clickety clack, oversized tic tac, are you doing, sir? Don’t you think my classmates will find it weird that Tony Stark is making an appearance during their field trip? Sure, they’ll be thrilled, possibly even starstruck, by your presence, but once that wears off, they’ll start thinking, and that’s  _ never _ good, because if they start thinking they’ll realise that Iron Man, a genius, billionaire and philanthropist, should not be at their boring old field trip! They’re already suspicious because of that stunt you pulled with FRIDAY, but now this? Seriously? If it weren’t for all the evidence stating otherwise, I’d call you brainless.” 

“Kid, kiddo, calm down, please. We can just say that you’re my personal intern and that Pepper adores you, that’s why she invited you over for dinner. It’s technically the truth, so your precious, but sometimes frustratingly unshakeable morality won’t force you to out yourself to your entire class. Don’t, however, think for a second that Rhodey and I aren't coming down to R&D. There’s no way we’re missing  _ that _ . Also, what was with that paragraph-esque thing you greeted me with?”

“You mean the frick frack, clickety clack, oversized tic tac thing?”

“Yeah, is it a code or something that you youngsters use?”

“No, my teacher’s just standing within hearing range and I didn’t want him to yell at me for swearing, but nothing else would have conveyed just how  _ freaked out I am right now _ .”

“Alright, kid, chill. Rhodey and I won’t do anything  _ too _ drastic. We’ll just come down, talk to your class, and leave.”

“It would be better if you didn’t come at all,” Peter griped.

“Ouch, but not happening.”   


“Ugh, fine, just promise you won't do anything weird.”

“Define  _ weird _ .”   


“Mr Stark,” Peter goraned, dragging out the ‘a’ sound.

“Ok, ok, scouts honour, kiddo.”

Peter sighed. “I’ve gotta go. Don’t be embarrassing!”

“Me? Embarrassing? I'd never.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Bye, Mr Stark.”

“Adios, Petey-Pie!”   
Peter hung up, rolling his eyes. The knot of dread in his stomach that had dissipated while they were in the conference room had just come back with a vengeance.

When he slipped back inside the room, the people in his class were still talking to each other, and Noah was typing away on the Stark Pad. He noticed Flash smirking at him, but didn’t have time to imagine what the bully had planned, before the taller boy was opening his mouth. “Excuse me! Noah? Parker was just on his phone, in the hallway,” Flash shouted. The class went silent, but Noah didn’t even look up from what he was doing, instead waving a hand in Flash’s general direction. 

“Yeah, kid, thanks, but I gave him permission to do that. Piece of advice though, no one likes a tattle-tale, least of all me,” Noah said, his body language showing just how uninterested he was in the interaction. Flash clenched his jaw, obviously not happy with the result of his little plan, but as he looked around and saw that no one was paying attention to him anymore, he let it drop, sending a glare in Peter’s direction before stalking off to where his friends were huddled in a corner of the large room.

After a little while, Noah set down his Stark Pad, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. “Ok, guys, sorry about the delay, but I just had to check if the chem lab was ready for us. We’re gonna head up now, but you can leave your bags here if you want. I’d suggest doing so, because we’ll be walking around quite a bit today. You won’t need anything except your badges,” he recommended. The teens dumped their backpacks in a corner, before filing out of the door and into the corridor where Noah was waiting, reminding them to be quiet again with a finger against his lips. 

After a chatter-filled ride in the elevator up to the forty-fifth floor, the group of teens shuffled out into the unexpected chaos of the chem lab. 

They were greeted by a fairly large explosion, followed by the blaring of a smoke alarm. Noah tells them to line up against the wall, as far away from the fire as possible, before he goes to help. 

A few minutes later, the alarm stopped blaring and the group could hear a male voice screaming hoarsely. “Why the  _ fuck  _ would you put caesium  _ anywhere _ near the taps? You’re a bloody scientist, not a clown, and this is, what, ninth grade level shit? Don’t let alkali metals anywhere near water! Jesus Christ, Timothy, you nearly blew up half the fucking lab! I know you’re stressed, man, babies can do that to you, but if you’re feeling  _ this _ tired, don’t come to work. I’ll understand, I know what having a newborn is like. Just... clean this up, I have to go apologise to a tour group,” the voice finished gently. 

A figure walked up to the group, eventually becoming visible through the smoke. He had dark skin and a not-so-white lab coat draped across his broad shoulders. His round face was covered in soot, and ash was powdered all through his thick moustache and thinning hair. Noah trailed closely behind him, looking only slightly less composed than when they had last seen him, black specks dotting his hair.

“Guys, this is Mr Arjun Reddiar. He’s the head of the chemistry department at SI.”

“Hey, kids, I’m sorry about this whole thing. We don't blow stuff up  _ everyday _ , but let's just say, it’s not exactly an uncommon occurrence. If researching new ways to make stuff explode is your passion, it’s a good idea to look into working here. Don’t tell anyone, but that’s ninety-nine percent of what we do here,” he said with a wink. Peter hadn’t met Mr Reddiar before, only seen him around the tower, but the boy decided he liked the man. “Now, you guys were promised an activity, so if you’ll follow Caitlin over there,” he paused and gestured to a girl of about nineteen with curly blonde hair and blue eyes, who waved cheerfully from where she was helping a flustered scientist to put out a small fire at a workstation. “She’ll show you to your workspaces. I’m sorry I can’t lead you through the experiment myself, but this ordeal has caused a slight change of plans. Don’t worry though, she’s one of the best interns I have here” he said with a little smile, before turning and walking towards a demolished sink, which the class could now see through the rapidly diminishing smoke. 

Caitlin had wandered over and exchanged a few words with Noah, before smiling at the group and gesturing for them to follow her. She led them through the partially destroyed lab and through a doorway, where there were several workstations organised in rows, each with their own set of materials neatly arranged on the counter. A slightly larger bench was positioned at the front, where Noah and Caitlin stood. The whole thing was kind of like a science classroom at their school. 

“Ok, guys, pick a station, about two or three of you per bench. Caitlin’s gonna take the lead here, because chem is her thing. For the moment I'm just the helper, so direct your attention to her please,” Noah said, grinning at the girl as the class moved towards the benches. Peter snagged one in the second row with Ned and MJ.

“Alrighty, my dudes, listen up. We’re gonna go through this prac together, step by step. Noah and I will show you through each one and then we’ll have a little discussion about it before you head off to lunch,” Caitlin explains. She holds a medium-sized jar filled with fine white powder up above her head, in clear view of the class. “Does anybody know what this is?” she asked, only to be greeted with silence. She smiled, “it’s ok, I didn't expect you to. This is sodium polyacrylate, which is basically a super-absorbent powder, and I mean  _ super- _ absorbent. When it’s added to water it becomes roughly three-hundred times its size. Cool right?” she said, to which she received several impressed nods. “Now, safety first, remember that. You don’t wanna go around a chemistry lab without the proper safety gear, especially if you have someone like Timothy working with you. Get some gloves and goggles on and then we’ll get started,” she paused, waiting patiently while the class donned their gear. “So what you’re gonna do now is pour that jar of powder into the bowl on your benches. Just like that, yep. Alright, one of you is gonna stick your hand in that bowl - it's completely harmless, don’t worry - and then you guys are gonna choose a colour from the dyes we’ve supplied you with on your bench. Put about three drops into the jug of water to your right,” Caitlin explained, doing the actions she described. Noah’s hand was placed in the bowl, and she chose a dye, putting a few drops in the water and stirring it, turning the liquid to turn bright green. “This stuff will make the process easier to see, and of course, it’ll look cooler at the end. Alright, has every group got a hand stuck in the bowl? Yeah? Sweet, pour that water in, and watch closely,” she said, grinning at the gasps from the class. Peter was impressed, the powder had reacted instantaneously with the water, and absorbed it, not exactly hardening, but becoming gel-like. Ned, whose hand had been in the bowl, was grinning as he pulled his hand out of their purple mixture and poked at it.

“It feels so weird, like that slime we made in Mr Stark’s lab, remember, Pete?” The larger boy questioned. Peter shuddered, the memories running through his mind. They had, in fact, made slime, and the two boys may or may not have ended up having a slime fight in the lab. It’d been fun at the time, but facing Iron Man’s wrath afterwards, when he’d found the two boys giggling tiredly on the floor, surrounded by fluorescent red and blue goop, had most certainly not been. The billionaire had made Peter clean it up all by himself, and then disabled Karen’s conversational abilities for a week. That had made the boy really sad - he liked the late-night chats he had with his suit’s AI. They’d gone through a lot together, and yeah, maybe it was a bit odd that Peter was attached to a piece of technology that probably didn't reciprocate his feelings, or even know how to do so, but stranger things had happened.

“Cool, right?” Caitlin smiled, “you know what's even cooler? Reversing the process with regular old table salt. See the shaker on your workstation? Pour all of it in, yeah, all of it - you need a lot for it to work - and stir. You’ll see a change soon,” she stopped, focusing on stirring her own bowl. 

Pretty soon everyone’s gel had turned into the dyed water that they’d poured in, and the powder was gone. Everyone was murmuring some version of, “cool,” under their breath.

“A round of applause for Caitlin and her sciencey-magic, please,” said Mr Harrington from where he stood against the back wall. Whoops, cheers and claps around the room, and Caitlin grinned. She took off her gloves and smiled, “ok, ok thanks guys, you’ve been great. I’ve gotta run soon, so just a few quick facts about sodium polyacrylate, which is a polymer, by the way. Technically, that whole thing you just saw isn’t even a chemical reaction, because the chemical structure doesn’t change and it doesn't react to the water molecules. Basically, the polymer’s ions attract water by diffusion and it absorbs the liquid really quickly, resulting in that gel-like substance you saw. Currently, it’s real-life applications are limited to diapers and plumbing, however, we’re working on a device that can be put into people’s homes in areas prone to floods. The device will absorb the water, hopefully resulting in minimal water damage to the property. Now, I believe it's time for your lunch, and I've gotta clean all this up before I go, so you better skedaddle.” 

Everyone perked up at the mention of food as they removed their safety gear, and the adults chuckled. Noah directed them out of the room and the group yelled a chorus of, “thank you,” before walking back through the lab, which would look almost normal, if it weren’t for the mangled sink and scorched walls. The scientists were all working studiously, ignoring both their slightly crispy surroundings and the group of rowdy kids traipsing through their lab.

As they filed into the elevator, Peter’s stomach grumbled loudly, reminding him of the fact that he hadn’t actually eaten since breakfast. With his enhanced metabolism, that wasn’t a great idea, and he probably should have had at least an apple or something before now. 

Luckily, when Mr Stark learnt that he needed way more food than the average person, the man had granted him unlimited meals from the cafeteria, which meant the gnawing in his stomach wouldn’t be a problem for long. However, hiding the fact that he was eating such a large amount - even for a growing teenage boy - from his classmates, who were all smart and quite nosy (maybe it was just a characteristic of teenagers in general? Peter knew that Mr Stark had called him, Ned and MJ nosy little ankle-biters on more than one occasion, for which he had been teased mercilessly by Rhodey due to the “grandpa terminology”), was going to be no small feat. Maybe everything would work out for him?

The boy sighed in exasperation - why was he even letting himself hope that it wouldn’t be too bad? It wasn’t like the universe cared about him enough to grant him even  _ one _ drama-free lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got that experiment off this website: https://interestingengineering.com/19-most-fascinating-chemical-reactions-that-prove-science-is-cool  
The video it shows is pretty lit and I recommend watching that if you couldn't understand my terrible description of it, or just cause it's awesome.  
Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a kudos or comment because I honestly love hearing what you think. Thanks to those that have done so already!  
Adios muchachos


	4. Here Lies Peter Parker's Sanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the end for both Peter's sanity and Flash's dignity.  
Also Peter's burger falls over.  
And MJ is really darn cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm uploading these fast! Look at me go!  
Only one more chapter left, I hope you guys are enjoying this.  
Thanks for the comments and kudos guys, it means a lot :)  
Sorry for any inaccuracies of the biological type, or any spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes. I'm tired and I know that's not really an excuse but oh well.  


Turns out, the universe  _ was _ able to offer him a small break from the craziness that was his life. Ned and MJ had apparently noticed the rumbling emanating from his stomach (and they’d informed him that half the class had as well, to which Peter had flushed and internally cursed his belly’s apparent loudness), and gathered all the food they could with their single meal slips, eaten their share and then given the rest to him. Peter himself had gotten about two meals-worth from his favourite thai restaurant, and so his stomach was finally satiated. 

The cafeteria housed a veritable treasure trove of chinese, mexican, indian and thai places, as well as a few good old American favourites, like McDonald’s and Burger King. His classmates were busy staring at all the food they had access to, so they didn’t notice Peter scarfing down way more than an average teenager should be able to fit into their body. He should have known it wouldn’t last, he was a Parker after all, and Parker Luck and precarious situations just did not mix.

He was halfway through a pretty average burger from MJ’s tray when a plump figure, dressed in an insanely sketchy outfit (he was talking a long, beige trench coat, sunglasses, and a fedora tilted to cover the guy’s face) siddled over to where they were sitting at a table in the corner of the room. Ned and MJ stared at the strange man, before looking at Peter. 

Ned leaned over and whispered, “is your spidey-thing tingling?” to which the smaller boy shook his head because, oddly enough, it wasn't. Nevertheless, he watched the stranger warily. His spidey-sense hadn’t been wrong before, but Mr Stark was always telling him that it was always a possibility, so he should stop placing as much weight in it as he did. 

“Kid, it’s me,” a gruff but familiar voice grunted from underneath the ridiculous hat. 

“Happy?” Peter questioned, his eyes widening. “What are you doing here? And what the hell are you wearing? You look like one of those cliche detectives from a kids TV show.”

“I know, kid, believe me, I know how ridiculous this outfit is, but Tony insisted on being ‘inconspicuous’, and apparently this was what he meant by that.”

“ _ Inconspicuous _ ? That is the least inconspicuous thing I’ve seen today, and we just saw half of the chem lab engulfed in flames. And what do you mean by ‘Tony insisted’? Did he put you up to this?”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant. We’re worried about you! Noah sent us an email about this kid in your class, Smash or something, said he’s been harrassing you.”

“I mean, harassing is a very strong word-” Peter began, before he was cut off by MJ.

“I think you mean a  _ completely appropriate word _ , Peter,” she scolded before turning to Happy. “Yes, Flash has been harassing Peter, like, bullying, and it happens all the time at school. Ned and I are sick of watching it, but this idiot refuses to tell anyone about it because ‘I can handle it’ and ‘It’s my problem, I don’t need to burden anyone with it’, which is complete bullshit,” she said fiercely. Peter shot her a betrayed look before forcefully jerking his head towards the line of restaurants that were a good ten meters away. A not-so-subtle gesture telling her and Ned to give him and Happy some privacy. They got the hint and left without too much of a fuss. He had such good friends.

“You’re being bullied, Pete?” Happy asked, his tone soft. Peter hated it. “I knew that some of the kids were dicks occasionally, but I didn’t know it was this bad. Why didn’t you tell us, or at least Tony?”

“I think MJ covered the reasons pretty well. It’s not even that bad, and besides, it’s my problem to deal with. Look at the reaction  _ you’re _ having to the news, even though people think you’re the most level-headed one, aside from Pepper. Can you imagine what Mr Stark would do if he found out? Which, now that I think about it,  _ please _ , if you like me even the slightest bit, _ don’t tell Mr Stark _ .”

“Jesus, kid, I don’t know. This doesn’t feel right, and your girlfriend is glaring daggers at me from across the room. I’m kind of getting the feeling that I won’t live to see next week if I don’t tell  _ someone _ about this,” Happy said nervously, attempting to be humorous while shifting from foot to foot, glancing at MJ.

“Pshhhh, what? She’s - she’s not my girlfriend,” Peter spluttered as his cheeks flushed a brilliant red.  _ Fantastic _ . This was just what he needed right now.

“Sure, kid, real convincing.” 

Peter elected to ignore the jab, and resorted to instead steering the conversation back to their original topic, like the subtle legend he was. “Please, Happy, c’mon, just don’t tell Mr St-” Peter cut himself off at the sigh of Flash approaching the table. “Oh, shit! Go, Happy. Someone in my class is coming! No one can see you here!” he shrieked under his breath. 

Happy’s eyes widened slightly and he moved faster than Peter had ever seen him move before. The tail of his coat whipped around a corner just before a pair of fists slammed down onto the table in front of Peter. The sad little burger tumbled over at disruption, and Peter watched sadly as the lettuce spilt all over the table. 

Flash was leaning over him, his expression twisted into fierce confusion. “What the fuck is going on here, Penis? You came in here with a  _ level five badge _ , claiming to be Tony Stark’s personal intern, and then get asked what you want for dinner by the CEO of Stark Industries via Tony Stark’s own AI, and you just expect everyone to be fine with that? I’ve been watching you throughout this entire trip, and I’ve seen the way you wave at some of the people we pass in the hallways, and how they wave back and smile like they actually know  _ you _ \- puny wee orphaned Parker, who needs a scholarship to come to school because he couldn’t afford to pay the fees. There’s no way you actually know people at the biggest tech company in the world, but I’ve figured it out, you know. What’s been going on. You’re just a sad little charity case that people feel obligated to say hi too. You’re nothing more than Tony Stark’s little feel-good project,” Flash spat, his voice low and sharp. 

Peter knew Flash was wrong. He knew that every single syllable the bully had just uttered was utter bullshit. But still, the words hurt. He couldn’t let Flash know that though, so he pouted and said, “dude, you knocked over my burger.”

Suddenly, MJ was behind Flash, gripping his shoulder and turning him around so forcefully he stumbled into the table. “I’d be careful when you talk,  _ Eugene _ , or else that puny brain of yours might make a run for it through your mouth, though I'm not too sure anyone would notice a difference if it did,” she said, tone low and dangerous. Ned was slightly behind her, looking a little nervous but no less furious. “Get lost, right now, dipshit. I can feel myself getting stupider with each second I spend in close proximity with you, and I don’t appreciate it. Just know that if you ever say  _ anything _ like that to Peter again, I will personally find you a place to stay in hell, that is, assuming they want you,” MJ finished, before stepping gracefully around the speechless boy and slumping down next to Peter. Ned bumped shoulders with Flash roughly as he passed, his stocky frame sending the bully stumbling away. Peter offered his two friends a grateful smile, hoping they’d know just how much their actions meant to him. Judging by their returning smiles (or smirk, in MJ’s case), they did.

A buzz from within Peter’s pocket told him he’d gotten a message. He pulled out his phone - courtesy of Mr Stark, who’d taken one look at his old, clunky Samsung, quite literally shrieked, and then ran out of the room. He’d returned about three minutes later, red-faced and panting, presenting him with a box. Inside had been the latest model of Stark Phone, infamous for its high cost and impressive features. Peter had tried to refuse (even holding the device went against every lesson May had ingrained into him about accepting gifts) but the genius had vehemently refused to take it. “You will either willingly take this phone, or I will take a hammer and that disgrace to modern-day technology you call a Samsung will be destroyed so thoroughly that you’ll have no choice but to accept my phone. It really comes down to a matter of pride, my pride specifically. I can’t have my personal intern walking around with a Samsung. A  _ Samsung _ of all things, dear  _ God _ ,” he had said, his face the picture of sincerity. There had been no bluff in his voice, and Peter had decided not to risk calling it.) 

The message was from Happy.  _ I’m sorry, kid, but what that scum said to you was unacceptable. I’m telling Tony. _

Peter frantically tapped out a reply, praying he could dissuade the man.  _ What? No, please don’t, Happy! _

_ I’m doing this, Peter. I’ll try to tone down his reaction for you, but no promises. _

_ Oh the sting of betrayal, I guess Mineko Iwasaki was right:  _ _ “Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.” _

_ ...I’m not even going to ask how or why you know that. I’m still your favourite right? _

_ Debatable. _

After he pressed send, Peter groaned, slamming his head against the table. Ned and MJ jumped, looking at him with concern.

“Happy’s telling Mr Stark,” he mumbled into the table, oblivious to the relieved smiles that his two friends shared. They really were sick and tired of Peter getting constantly put-down by a jealous ass-crack with nothing better to do. “Ugh, this will ruin everything.”

“Maybe whatever Mr Stark’s gonna do won't be so bad?” reassured Ned, sounding dubious, and it did nothing to comfort Peter.

“You have  _ met _ Tony Stark right? He’ll probably come busting in here any second now, repulsors raised and ready to go.”

“I’ll have to agree with Peter on this one, Ned. Stark is notorious for his dramatics,” MJ chimed in. Peter groaned, because if  _ she _ thought he was screwed, he totally was. 

He looked down as his phone buzzed again, seeing another message from Happy.

_ I told him, managed to talk him down from coming straight there but had to remind him that murder, especially the murder of a child, was frowned upon in all states. He’s telling Rhodey and they’ll definitely do something at R&D, don’t know what. _

Peter frowned. He was doomed.  _ K thx I guess Happy. _

_ Kid, what did I tell you about those dumb abbreviations from your generation? _

_ That you’re too old to understand them? _

_ How did you manage to be sassy over text? _

_ It’s a gift, few possess it. _

Peter tucked his phone into his back pocket, smiling slightly despite the recent events. Even though Happy had a grumpy exterior, he never failed to cheer Peter up after a bad day.

“Alright, lunchtime is over! Come here so I can do a headcount and then we’ll move to the bio labs,” Noah called, his voice echoing through the spacious cafeteria. 

“I’m really excited about this one guys. Now, I might be biased, but I reckon this is the best stop we’ve got planned for the tour,” he said once everyone had gathered in front of him. 

They headed back to the elevator, a little rowdier than before thanks to the energy that the food had brought. After a short ride up to the thirtieth floor, the doors slid open and the group was immediately blasted with a wave of hot, humid air. A lot of Peter’s classmates took a small step back at the unexpected heat, but Noah didn’t hesitate as he led them forward. “This is the environmental research lab. They’re currently looking into the medicinal values of some of the plants in the Amazon rainforest like Tucum and Lapacho. The temperature has to stay at a steady eighty-two degrees fahrenheit, and the humidity levels at about seventy-seven percent for the plant samples that they’re studying to survive. I specialise in the human side of things, which is just through here, but these plants may save lives one day. It’s really quite fascinating,” Noah explains as he leads them towards a sealed door, past exotic looking plants and flushed but focused scientists staring through microscopes at petri dishes.

Once they make it through the door, the air temperature returns to a comfortable level again. “The tree huggers - that’s what us human anatomy researchers call those plant nerds back there - may need that temperature for their research, but that doesn’t mean we all have to suffer. It’s the reason there's an airtight door between our lab and theirs,” Noah clarified in response to the many confused expressions in the group. 

“Hey, Noah! This is your tour group, yes?” called a black-haired guy in his early twenties, his words threaded with a slight spanish accent .

“Yep, thanks again for doing this,” Noah said, before turning to the class. “This is Federigo, though he prefers Ferdie. He’s another one of the interns in this lab. We’ve worked together a lot before, and the guy’s a genius. He’ll be answering any questions you may have about the biology lab or what it’s like being an intern here. I’m sorry to abandon you, but I’ve gotta work on my project for this year’s contest. I recommend asking Ferdie about that as well, he won last year. I’ll be back though, don’t worry. Be good and listen attentively please,” the blond told them before striding off into the depths of the lab, shrugging on a white coat he’d snagged off the wall as he went.

“Ok, so as Noah said, I’m Ferdie. I intern here at the bio lab and also in the sales department. I’m going to be the one to give those of you who take marketing a tour of the sales department, but before that, we should go sit down. We’ll probably be here a while and I bet you guys have a ton of questions,” he said, leading them through a side door and into a small room with beanbags littering the floor. There was a great deal of rustling and muttering while everybody got comfortable, and Ferdie took his place at the front of the room.

“Right, let's get this party started,” he began, and about ten hands shot up almost instantly, causing the intern to chuckle. “An eager bunch I see, how about you?” he gestured to Marissa, a tall, confident girl with dark hair chopped into a bob.

“Well, I was just wondering about that contest Noah mentioned. He said you won?”

“Ah yes, for the second half of every year, all the interns at SI make their own individual project and enter it into the competition. There’s generally a theme, this year it's search and rescue, but last year it was the human brain - my specialty, I’m studying to become a neurosurgeon - which is why I won, but there was some incredibly tough competition. One girl in the R&D department made an implant that could be surgically implanted in the brain. It could send electrical impulses that replicated the messages that nerves send to each other down the spinal cord of a paralysed person. With that, the person could regain a limited range of movement in the paralysed section of their body. They weren’t completely back to normal, but they weren’t as reliant on a wheelchair either. It was brilliant, but one of the criteria was that it had to be accessible to all people, and the operation would’ve cost an insane amount of money. My project had to do with brain damage, and how there are very few ways to fix it, even with the advanced medical technology we have access too. Around one-point-five million Americans sustain a traumatic brain injury every year, so I wondered what would happen if I could change that. The end result was a pill that, if taken, would be able to slowly regenerate the damaged cells in the brain. It takes about a year for the injury to heal fully, depending on the extent of the damage, and some intense physical therapy is needed afterwards. If I were to spend more time working out the kinks, I may be able to get that number down to six months, or reduce the need for physical therapy afterwards,” Ferdie explained, grinning at the amazed faces of the group in front of him, before nodding at another kid who had their hand up.

“Is there a prize for winning?” the boy asked, causing the young man to chuckle. 

“Yes, actually, there is. SI pays your tuition fees for the duration of the time you spend studying at school. It’s a pretty sweet deal, and now I have some spare money to visit my family in Colombia,” he said with a fond smile, gesturing at another kid.

“So... what do you do when you aren’t working on your projects for the contest?”

“We generally help out the full-time employees with their work. It acclimates us to having a job in this department.”

“Are there any perks to being an intern here?”

“You mean apart from the fact that it looks  _ amazing _ on your resumé and gets you ultimate bragging rights? Well, there’s a pretty much guaranteed job here after you finish college, and any other company you may apply to will be chomping at the bit to hire you because of how exclusive these internships are. They also offer financial help, which a lot of us need, being starving college students and all that jazz. And of course, you make really good connections here as well. I know someone who used to work at NewYork-Presbytarian, one of the best hospitals in the world for neurology, and he’s offered to put in a good word for me. Let’s not forget you meet a few pretty cool people every now and then,” Ferdie said, glancing through the door at Noah, who was talking to another intern, before pointing at another kid who’d stuck their hand up.

“What do the proper workers actually do in here?”

“They usually work together on a project, like now. They’re taking a stab at making synthetic blood that can be used in transfusions, but it works for all blood types. It would save a lot of time if paramedics didn’t have to search for the right type of blood. Possibly even lives, if someone doesn’t know their blood type, is too out of it to tell the medics, or they don’t have that blood type on hand. I know you’re thinking ‘but that’s exactly what o-neg does’, and you’re right, but this will severely reduce the shortages around the world, especially in developing countries,” Ferdie explained, and everyone looked suitably impressed. “Sometimes our scientists work on individual tasks, but our department head, Cathy, is really into the whole collaborative workplace thing.” 

After about an hour of questions and explanations, Noah came jogging up to them, apologising profusely for ditching them for so long, and explaining that he got wrapped up in his project. Ferdie had waved him off without a thought, leaning against the wall as he let Noah take the lead. 

“So did you guys have fun? Learn anything new?” Noah asked, smiling. He was answered by vigorous nods. “Cool, so this is where we split off. I’ll ask those who take marketing to stand up and go see Ferdie, everyone else, you can just chill there for a bit,” he said. 

MJ rose, looking vaguely excited, probably at the prospect of seeing Pepper Potts in the flesh, and nodded goodbye to Peter and Ned, who waved in return. She turned and walked over to where almost half of the group was crowding around the black-haired intern. He smiled jovially before leading them out of the room, quizzing them on what they knew from their class as he went.

The rest of the group, consisting of Peter, Ned, Flash (unfortunately), and about ten others, sat there quietly, the room feeling substantially larger now that it was bereft of half their peers. 

Noah typed furiously on his Stark Pad for a few moments, before looking up. “Ok, guys, I’ve just received confirmation that our two special guests will definitely be at the R&D department to talk to us, so I feel it's safe to tell you who they are,” he said, though many of the teens looked uninterested. How could anyone be better than _ Pepper Potts _ ? Noah smirked, knowing that their reactions to the news would be anything but unenthusiastic, while Peter sunk lower into his beanbag and silently died inside. “Tony Stark and Colonel James Rhodes!” announced the older intern. 

Several of Peter’s classmates looked up so fast it was a wonder they didn’t break their necks, while others jerked so violently they slipped straight off their beanbags altogether. All of them, however, had the same slightly shocked, slightly disbelieving, but mostly awed expression on their faces. Peter heard Flash snort behind him, and mutter quietly. “Oh, look at that, Stark’s coming to visit his charity case,” obviously feeling braver now that MJ was gone, having kind of sulked in the background until now. 

Peter’s muscles tensed, but Ned laid a calming hand on his shoulder, his eyes saying that Peter only had to hold out a little longer before Flash would get the comeuppance of the century from Iron Man himself. It calmed Peter down, but also reminded him that while Flash may get what he deserved, Peter would probably get so embarrassed that he’d never be able to show his face in public again, and end up living as a hermit in Canada or something. Just like that, the dread was back, and twisting up his insides so badly he half thought he’d drop dead. 

Peter really hoped that Rhodey and Mr Stark would keep the humiliation to a minimum, or better yet, not do it at all and just have a private chat (read: highkey threatening conversation where no one could see them) with Flash, but knowing them as he did, and how mad Happy had said Mr Stark was, he knew that wouldn’t be the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment or leave a kudos, your support means so much.  
Special thanks to AuroraMoon, who pointed out a scientific inaccuracy and then gave me an idea of what to replace it with, because I would have had no idea otherwise.


	5. Oh Snap, Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the (overly dramatic) father figure part of the title.  
Vines are referenced, Flash is disgraced, and Tony and Peter do some quality (totally not father-son) bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeeee, we're here guys, last chapter.  
I have to admit I had no idea where this was going until I wrote it but I guess it turned out pretty well?  
Anyway thanks to all those who have stuck with this, enjoy!  


As Noah ushered them all into the elevator outside the biology lab, Peter felt like he was about to throw up, or faint, or die, or maybe all three, in that order. His heart was pounding in his ears, his throat was doing it’s best impersonation of the Sahara Desert, and his stomach felt like someone was reaching inside of him and wringing it out. 

The teen was beyond nervous. That word couldn’t even  _ begin _ to describe how he felt. Petrified was closer, but honestly, he was about two seconds away from reaching a mode of utter and complete panic that was so rare he almost didn’t recognise it. Like, the  _ I can’t breathe and the walls are closing in on me and it feels like the floor is spinning and my head will explode any second now, _ kind of panic. In other words, the situation was  _ not good _ .

The elevator stopped and they all piled out into a mini reception area, with black leather couches and sleek metal side tables. The R&D department was huge, because it did a lot of important things for the company, and so it needed it’s own lobby to handle it's affairs. Noah explained all that while Peter took shaky breaths and tried to ignore the concerned looks being sent his way by Ned.

The boy’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, and he glanced at the caller ID to see Rhodey’s name there. He shakily showed Noah the phone, raising an eyebrow in silent question, asking for permission. The older intern nodded in affirmation, taking in Peter’s no-doubt pale face with worry in his eyes. The boy retreated further into the corner of the lobby, pressing the answer button as he went. “Rhodey?” the boy breathed out.

“Peter? Are you alright, buddy? FRIDAY said that your heart rate is elevated and your breathing patterns are abnormal.”

Peter almost laughed. Almost. “Am I alright?  _ Am I alright _ ?”

“Er… I believe that's what I said”

“No, I am not alright, Mr Colonel Rhodes, sir. You and Mr Stark are about to appear in front of my entire robotics and mechanics class, and there is no doubt in my mind that you'll embarrass me in some way. Happy said Mr Stark was really mad too, and he’ll make a whole scene and then my class will be forever traumatised by the image of Iron Man, the genius inventor and defender of their home planet, murdering a child. Maybe even two children, since I’ll probably overdose on humiliation and  _ die _ !”

“Oh so it’s back to Mr Colonel Rhodes sir, is it? Yippie!” Rhodey quipped sarcastically.

“It’s the least you deserve.”

“Jesus Christ, Pete, you’re always complaining about how dramatic Tony is, but I’d say that you’re just as bad, if not  _ worse _ , than Stanky over there,” Rhodey said. Peter’s ears picked up an indignant, “h _ ey _ ! That was one time Rhodey, get over it! And tell Peter that the trash bag in his class deserves far worse than death for what he said!’ in the background, and Peter assumed that it was Mr Stark. “Tony says-”   


“I heard, enhanced hearing, remember?”

“Right, well, I agree with Tony, but we won't  _ actually _ kill him, just verbally attack him so intensely that he loses all ability to feel for three to five business days.”

“Ugh, can’t you just, I don’t know, have a private chat with him. Or, better yet, not talk to him at all. It’s my problem to deal with, and it's not even a problem. More like a small inconvenience, ya know? Like, uh, like running out of milk!”   


“Peter,” Rhodey began softly. “What he said to you, it was horrible, it really was. We could get him expelled for that, but Tony knows you’d probably never speak to him again if he took that course of action. He cares about what you think, but he also cares about  _ you _ . He’s not going to just let you continue to be bullied when he can do something to stop it.”

“Yeah… yeah I know, but why does he have to come in guns blazing?”   


“Because that's who he is, it’s how he shows that he cares. He just can’t say it, because that man is even more uncomfortable with emotions than a cat with a cucumber.”

“Fine, whatever. Just please try to talk him down, even just a little bit.”   


“You  _ know _ it’s a lost cause, Pete, but I’ll do my best,”

“I guess that’s all I can ask. Thanks, Rhodey,”   


“Yes! We’re back to Rhodey. See ya, kiddo,” The colonel said before hanging up. Peter sighed and leant back against the wall. Even though Rhodey hadn’t exactly said that they weren’t going to destroy Flash, he did say he’d try to convince Tony to do otherwise. 

He was feeling calmer, there was just something about talking to the former army operative that soothed him. He was still concerned about what would happen, but he wasn’t as mad at Mr Stark for blowing everything out of proportion. He knew now that it was just the billionaire’s way of saying “Hey, kid, you’re pretty cool, ya know? Like, you’re one of the few people that I’d be ok with getting stuck in an elevator with for three hours.”

So, while he was still a little worried for his own emotional and mental well being (and possibly Flash’s too. The dude may be a jerk, but not many people deserved to be yelled at by a furious Tony Stark, and Peter was still a good guy, despite it all, so he didn’t  _ really _ wish it upon the bully), he didn’t have a full-fledged panic attack when the desk attendant told them they could go on through. 

They got a brief tour of the ridiculously advanced labs, courtesy of Wakanda - Tony and T’Challa had kept in touch after the whole fiasco, dubbed the ‘Civil War’ by the media. Peter  _ definitely _ didn't think that was an insanely cool name. 

T’Challa and his younger sister, Shuri, had visited the Tower once while Peter and Ned had been chilling in the lounge room. Shuri had been shoved off on the two boys while the older men went and ‘talked shop’, but the teens had hit it off immediately. The boys were impressed by her intellect (she was  _ crazy _ smart), and she was shocked by the revelation that Peter was Spider-Man, and that Ned had managed to hack his suit. 

Apparently Shuri had tried to hack Tony Stark’s technology multiple times and had only succeeded very recently, the feat taking her a whole day. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon re-creating vines with the spidey suit, including but not limited to, “damn that’s so sad, Karen, play despacito,” and “damn Spider-Man, back at it again with the white vans,” featuring Peter, dressed in his suit, with a pair of white vans on over the top. 

The video had gone viral, and while Peter was out as Spider-Man, he got more than a few vine references thrown his way, especially from the people bad guy, which had been… surprising. 

Whenever he punched someone he got, “ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this,” and whenever someone pointed a gun at him he heard, “I won’t hesitate, bitch.” 

It had been amusing, but had gotten old really fast. It was hard to concentrate when someone was screaming “ _ Patricia _ !” at him.

Peter jerked back into reality to find Noah explaining a little more about what happened in the R&D department, but he could see that no one was listening properly. Everybody wanted to meet Tony Stark: genius, billionaire, superhero, philanthropist and James Rhodes, esteemed air force colonel turned Iron Patriot… or War Machine, depending on who you asked.

After torturing the group for a little longer, Noah relented, and led them into a small room off to the side. There were several chairs set up and a raised platform at the front. There was a brief scuffle in which a few people fought for the chairs closest to the platform, but Flash and his gang ended up winning, smirking as they shoved a few more people away from the prime seats and sat down. Peter and Ned headed straight for the back, and scored the entire row for themselves, if they ignored count Mr Harrington, who’d taken a seat at the opposite end of the row and was bouncing in his chair like an excited child. 

Noah cleared his throat from where he stood by the door. “Guys, listen up! Mr Stark and Colonel Rhodes will be here any second no-”

“Excellent timing, I told you we wouldn’t be late platypus,” came the well-known voice of Tony Stark. Moments later, he appeared through the doorway, his hair gelled to spiky perfection and goatee neatly brushed, a far cry from what he looked like after a thirty-six hour stint in his lab. 

The billionaire was wearing his ‘intimidation suit’, and dark glasses that hid his eyes, both of which screamed ‘I could destroy you with a single hand motion, so don't test me,  _ bitch _ ’. Rhodey appeared just behind him, decked out in a suit of his own. It wasn’t quite as attention-stealing as Mr Stark’s, but it still gave off the ‘don’t even try to mess with me’ vibe.

The class went dead silent as the pair mounted the few steps up to the platform. Everyone wore similar expressions: eyes wide and following every movement of the two, their mouths like gaping holes in their faces. To his left, Peter saw Mr Harrington nervously straighten his tie and glasses, before trying to flatten his floppy brown hair against his scalp. 

Mr Stark made very brief eye contact with Peter, smirked slightly and then cleared his throat. “Hello, young whippersnappers, I’m Tony Stark, which you should know already, considering this is my Tower, and to my left is Colonel James Rhodes,” he paused and glanced at Rhodey, who nodded at the class in greeting. 

Well, Peter assumed that was what it was supposed to look like, but he saw what had really happened. Rhodey had very subtly pointed out Flash to Mr Stark, whose eyes flicked to the boy in question before continuing his speech. “So, I heard that a tour group from Midtown was coming here, and I decided to pop in and check out some of the hands and minds that would mould the next generation of scientific discoveries. I have to say, I’m disappointed,” Mr Stark paused again. The group looked horrified, especially Mr Harrington. Peter sunk lower in his seat and bowed his head. “Not in all of you, don’t worry, but there are a few,” Mr Stark took the time to look directly at Flash, and Peter saw the boy gulp. “How many of you know my history? I’d assume it's an over-discussed topic, and I hate to add to the drivel, but here we go. You’ve all heard of my father, Howard Stark, tech genius, who used his intellect to defend his country and then passed that legacy on to his only son. What people never seem to discuss is the domestic side of my father, you know, what he did at home. He was cold, cruel, calculating. I spent my entire childhood chasing attention that he wasn’t willing to give. To put it quite simply, he was a bully, and because of that, and my profession, I simply  _ cannot stand _ bullying,” the genius finished, stepping backwards slightly and letting Rhodey take the stage. 

The class was silent, unsure of what was happening. Peter’s head was in his hands, because he knew, he just  _ knew  _ where this was going.

“I’m Colonel James Rhodes, and my background has not been blasted across newspapers my entire life, but I’m pretty sure there's a very inaccurate Wikipedia article on me,” he said, pausing to allow the class to chuckle nervously. “My Dad was killed in action when I was eleven, leaving my mum to care for me and my three younger siblings. We never got his body back, so all I had were my memories of him, which were few and far between, but the one thing I have always remembered is him telling me he was going away to fight off the bullies. I was too young, of course, to know that he was fighting a war, and that both sides could be seen as the bullies, depending on who you were and how you looked at it, but that idea has stuck with me throughout my life. Whether I was protecting my siblings from their bullies or defending myself from my own, I always thought, ‘dad would be proud of me’, and I hope, I really hope that he is. I never really thought of fighting off bullies on a larger scale until after I finished college, but once I got that diploma from MIT, it was on my mind twenty-four seven. I enlisted, I completed the basic training and then the advanced training, both with flying colours, and then I rose up in the ranks. My entire life, I’ve been fighting bullies, whether it was on a school playground or a battlefield in Afghanistan. As you may be able to imagine, that makes me none too fond of bullies either.”

“I don’t know if any of you are aware of this, but there is a strict zero-bullying policy in this Tower, and it applies to everyone, whether you’re an employee, or a guest,” Mr Stark began, locking eyes with Flash again, who paled alarmingly fast as the dots connected in his brain. “Violating this policy can and  _ will _ lead to consequences, specifically, being escorted out of the tower by our head of security,” the billionaire paused again and gestured to the door he had come through earlier with Rhodey. Happy stepped through it, his bulky frame blocking the space. He was clad in a threatening black suit and had a pair of dark sunglasses on his face. Peter died inside just a little at the dramatics of it all. “Which usually results in public humiliation. I don’t usually make appearances to view these things, but I have personal connections to this particular case. Now, I believe there is a Mr Eugene Thompson in this class?” Mr Stark smirked, knowing full well he was standing right in front of the boy. He looked right at the quaking teen and said, “you  _ are _ him aren’t you? Would you kindly stand up and allow yourself to be removed from the building?” he said, a deadly smile on his face. Flash stood up and whipped around to face Peter, who couldn’t sink any lower in his seat without slipping right off.

“This is all your fault, Penis. You went running to Tony Stark because you couldn’t handle a little bit of truth! I bet he doesn’t even care, and this whole thing is just a PR stunt,” he snarled at the shorter boy. 

Tony was in front of him before anyone in the room could blink. “I’d watch your mouth, because you are currently in the presence of three highly trained men who wouldn’t think twice if they had to choose Peter over you. He is  _ not _ a PR stunt, he is  _ not _ a charity case and he is  _ not _ someone I keep around in case I get bored of Ms Potts, because yes, FRIDAY hears  _ everything _ , even those little comments you mutter to your friends. Peter is the smartest, funniest kid I know, with a heart of gold.  _ That’s _ the reason he’s my personal intern. If I ever get the slightest hint that you’re bothering the kid again, I promise you that I will absolutely destroy your life, and Stark men  _ never _ break their promises. Now get out of my tower, you sorry excuse for a human being,” he hissed, gesturing to Happy, who came over and grabbed Flash’s shoulder roughly, squeezing just tight enough for it to be uncomfortable. 

“Are you threatening me? Just wait till my father hears about this!” Flash yelled, his anger having burnt through the ice that fear had built in his veins and pulling a full Draco Malfoy. It was a dumb choice.

“As if your bank manager daddy could do anything against me. He’s just as worthless as you, sitting on his ass all day and flirting with his assistant. I almost feel sorry for you,” he snorted, and Flash was practically dragged through the doorway. Mr Stark glanced at Mr Harrington and then jerked his head towards the door Flash had disappeared through. “I expect you’ll be looking into that student’s history when you return to school? I have a recording of Mr Thompson harassing Peter, which I will happily send to you. Speaking of Peter, he’s staying with me. I’m pretty sure his Aunt wrote him a note, but do you really need it if I'm standing right here and saying it's fine?” he said, charisma coursing through every word. Mr Harrington just nodded speechlessly, alarmed by the other man’s business-like nature, and hurried out the door after Happy and Flash. 

Rhodey had been speaking with Noah, who turned and beckoned the shaking class to follow him out of the door. 

All of them turned and openly stared at Peter as they passed, but he was too busy looking pointedly at his hands, which were clenched into tight fists in his lap. Ned bid him a quick goodbye, and Rhodey muttered something unintelligible before slipping out of the room after the boy, leaving Tony and Peter alone.

The man sighed, and rubbed the back of his head. “Look kid, I know you’re mad, but believe me-”

“Did you mean it?” Peter interrupted, not even caring that it was rude.

“What?”   


“Did you mean it, what you said? About the uh, the reasons why I was your intern.”

Tony let out a loud exhale. “Oh, Pete,  _ that’s _ what’s got you acting like a shy little kitten? I thought you were mad about what I said.”   


“Oh, yeah, I’m mad, but not as mad as I will be if you didn’t mean all that stuff, because if you did, well I may just find it in my  _ golden heart _ to forgive you.”   


“Is that even a question Petey-pie? Of course I meant it! You’re wicked smart, sometimes so smart that you scare me, and you have the kindest heart out of anyone I’ve ever met, by far. Hell, you tried to stop me from publicly humiliating your  _ bully _ , and holy crap, they’re cheesy, but I love your puns, so yes Pete, I did mean it, every word,” Mr Stark finished, his tone gentle.

Peter finally looked up from his lap, though his hands still twisted nervously, and their brown eyes, which were  _ almost _ the same shade, met. The older man hesitated only slightly before pulling the boy into a hug. Peter stiffened slightly in shock at this form of rare affection, before slowly wrapping his arms around the billionaire’s waist.

“Thanks, Mr Stark,” he whispered into the man's collarbone.

“It was my pleasure, kid, now what do you say to some of Pepper’s famous cheeseburgers?” 

“ _ God _ yes,” Peter moaned, just as his stomach rumbled loudly. 

The pair could be heard laughing all throughout the R&D lab, and later, several eyewitnesses claim to have seen Tony Stark - a man whose iron heart had a reputation almost as big as the billionaire himself - smiling joyfully at a brown-haired teenager who was tucked underneath his arm as they walked through the hallways of Stark Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I'm truly flattered by all the kudos and comments.  
I'm possibly going to write a Peter is Tony's biological son fic, so let me know if that's down your alley.  
Also, I'm doing a collab with ariverofthings (awesome writer, you should check out her one shot if you want some Irondad Spiderson feels). We don't know much about it apart from the plot yet but it's gonna have all the quality tropes we love.  
So yeah, until next time I guess


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